August 2nd, 2022 It's been ten days since I found out I'm pregnant with you. Nine days since I shared the news with your father. I've taken a pregnancy test every day since then just to remind myself that it's real - that this is happening; again. I feel anxious, excited, and a little scared.…
Year Two
Today was hard. Not because of the usual reasons. Not because I'm tired. Tired of the medications, tired of the appointments, tired of the BFNs every month. Not because of the people who still ask if we're pregnant yet, or because my cycle is starting to become unpredictable again. Today wasn't hard because we were…
Reclaimed Hope
It's been 156 days since our baby was taken from us. 156 days of coping, grieving, and accepting. For the first few weeks, I would wake up forgetting there was no longer another life inside me. That sobering realization didn't get any easier with each morning. What also didn't get easier was seeing other women…
2021.07.03
To My MiracleI'll never know if your eyes were the perfect shade of blueI'll never watch you fall asleep as I softly sing to youI'll never get to count your toes or kiss your little feetI'll never hear the sweet sound of your perfect heart beatI'll never get to wipe away the tears from your …
Losing Our Miracle
As most of you know, I have been going through fertility treatments and seeing a new specialist since last year. We learned I can't have children on my own, was diagnosed with PCOS, and was only born with half a reproductive system. Our IVF appointment for February in Moncton was cancelled because the specialist didn't…
The Best Day
Today my world changed forever. Today for the first time in my life, something happened that was supposed to be impossible. Today, a miracle happened. One that goes against everything doctors have been telling me for ten years. Today, I saw two lines. One was faded, but it was there. It was real. I rubbed…
An Open Letter To My Husband
To the most caring and understanding man, Thank you. Thank you for being patient with me. For putting up with my moments of hurt, frustration and despair. You deserve a medal. I know the past four years have challenged and tested our limits, our resilience, and our marriage. I know I have not been the…
Messy Mind 