Are You Pregnant Yet?
I don’t think we were even married a week before friends, coworkers and relatives started asking, “Are you pregnant yet?” It’s a natural assumption (one that I’ve made as well) that all newlywed couples want (and can have) children. But that’s not everyone’s plan or reality. This isn’t a rant about being offended or overly…
Update
The past ten years have been tough. They have been full of uncertainty, grief, and frustration. I have been tested physically, mentally, and emotionally. My body has gone through hell and back. But I’m still standing. My stubbornness is something I joke about often, like it’s a flaw of mine. But to be honest, I…
An Open Letter To My Husband
To the most caring and understanding man, Thank you. Thank you for being patient with me. For putting up with my moments of hurt, frustration and despair. You deserve a medal. I know the past four years have challenged and tested our limits, our resilience, and our marriage. I know I have not been the…
The Best Day
Today my world changed forever. Today for the first time in my life, something happened that was supposed to be impossible. Today, a miracle happened. One that goes against everything doctors have been telling me for ten years. Today, I saw two lines. One was faded, but it was there. It was real. I rubbed…
To My Unicorn
To my unicorn, You have been growing in my belly for five weeks now. Today you are the size of a pea. You may be small, but I can already tell you are mighty and fierce. I’ll be honest, your daddy and I are scared. We are trying to stay positive and celebrate each day…
Losing Our Miracle
As most of you know, I have been going through fertility treatments and seeing a new specialist since last year. We learned I can’t have children on my own, was diagnosed with PCOS, and was only born with half a reproductive system. Our IVF appointment for February in Moncton was cancelled because the specialist didn’t…
2021.07.03
To My Miracle I’ll never know if your eyes were the perfect shade of blueI’ll never watch you fall asleep as I softly sing to youI’ll never get to count your toes or kiss your little feetI’ll never hear the sweet sound of your perfect heart beatI’ll never get to wipe away the tears from…
Reclaimed Hope
It’s been 156 days since our baby was taken from us. 156 days of coping, grieving, and accepting. For the first few weeks, I would wake up forgetting there was no longer another life inside me. That sobering realization didn’t get any easier with each morning. What also didn’t get easier was seeing other women…
Year Two
Today was hard. Not because of the usual reasons. Not because I’m tired. Tired of the medications, tired of the appointments, tired of the BFNs every month. Not because of the people who still ask if we’re pregnant yet, or because my cycle is starting to become unpredictable again. Today wasn’t hard because we were…
Our Rainbow
August 2nd, 2022 It’s been ten days since I found out I’m pregnant with you. Nine days since I shared the news with your father. I’ve taken a pregnancy test every day since then just to remind myself that it’s real – that this is happening; again. I feel anxious, excited, and a little scared.…
About Me
My name is Shelby. If you’re reading this, you either know me, or can relate to my life somehow. Either way, welcome to my journey as a unicorn. Here you will find my thoughts, emotions, and experiences as I attempt to maneuver through complex infertility.
Subscribe to My Blog
Get updates to your inbox when I add a new post.
Messy Mind 