Our Rainbow

August 2nd, 2022 It's been ten days since I found out I'm pregnant with you. Nine days since I shared the news with your father. I've taken a pregnancy test every day since then just to remind myself that it's real - that this is happening; again. I feel anxious, excited, and a little scared.…

Year Two

Today was hard. Not because of the usual reasons. Not because I'm tired. Tired of the medications, tired of the appointments, tired of the BFNs every month. Not because of the people who still ask if we're pregnant yet, or because my cycle is starting to become unpredictable again. Today wasn't hard because we were…

Reclaimed Hope

It's been 156 days since our baby was taken from us. 156 days of coping, grieving, and accepting. For the first few weeks, I would wake up forgetting there was no longer another life inside me. That sobering realization didn't get any easier with each morning. What also didn't get easier was seeing other women…

2021.07.03

To My MiracleI'll never know if your eyes were the perfect shade of blueI'll never watch you fall asleep as I softly sing to youI'll never get to count your toes or kiss your little feetI'll never hear the sweet sound of your perfect heart beatI'll never get to wipe away the tears from your …

To My Unicorn

To my unicorn, You have been growing in my belly for five weeks now. Today you are the size of a pea. You may be small, but I can already tell you are mighty and fierce. I'll be honest, your daddy and I are scared. We are trying to stay positive and celebrate each day…

The Best Day

Today my world changed forever. Today for the first time in my life, something happened that was supposed to be impossible. Today, a miracle happened. One that goes against everything doctors have been telling me for ten years. Today, I saw two lines. One was faded, but it was there. It was real. I rubbed…

An Open Letter To My Husband

To the most caring and understanding man, Thank you. Thank you for being patient with me. For putting up with my moments of hurt, frustration and despair. You deserve a medal. I know the past four years have challenged and tested our limits, our resilience, and our marriage. I know I have not been the…

Update

The past ten years have been tough. They have been full of uncertainty, grief, and frustration. I have been tested physically, mentally, and emotionally. My body has gone through hell and back. But I'm still standing. My stubbornness is something I joke about often, like it's a flaw of mine. But to be honest, I…

Are You Pregnant Yet?

I don't think we were even married a week before friends, coworkers and relatives started asking, "Are you pregnant yet?" It's a natural assumption (one that I've made as well) that all newlywed couples want (and can have) children. But that's not everyone's plan or reality. This isn't a rant about being offended or overly…